On a recent episode of "Let's Talk" on Houston City Beat, host Lisbet Newton engaged in a compelling conversation with Wayne Basist from ESQ Mental Fitness, delving into the complexities of a particularly challenging individual: the high-achiever whose drive morphs into detrimental controlling behavior. Lisbet, playfully dubbing them "anti-superheroes," steered the discussion toward understanding the dynamics and potential for change in individuals wielding this potent, often negative, combination.
The conversation immediately tackled the core issue: the collision of high ambition with a need for absolute control. Lisbet highlighted this pairing as a potential source of significant organizational friction, even labeling it the recipe for a "most horrible boss." Wayne echoed this sentiment, raising a critical question about self-awareness. Do individuals entrenched in this hyper-achiever controller mindset ever truly recognize their impact on others?
A key point of exploration was the differing levels of acknowledgment these individuals might possess. While someone might readily identify with being a high-achiever, often framing it as a positive attribute synonymous with success, the "controller" aspect proves far more elusive. People generally resist being labeled a "control freak." Lisbet astutely suggested shifting the focus to observable behaviors, such as the tendency to take over projects or excessively micromanage, as a less confrontational way to address the issue.
Wayne provided a powerful real-world example of a CEO whose strong controller tendencies, initially perceived as performance-driving, ultimately led to negative corporate outcomes. It wasn't until a saboteur assessment brought his dominant "controller" trait to light, revealing its detrimental impact on team morale and stress levels, that a significant change occurred. By consciously adopting a more supportive and collaborative "sage" approach, the CEO fostered a turnaround in both performance and employee well-being.
The discussion naturally transitioned to the often-used term "narcissist" and its potential overlap with the controller-hyper-achiever profile. Wayne clarified that the fundamental challenge lies in a self-absorbed difficulty connecting with and considering others, a trait that can certainly fuel controlling behaviors. While not always perfectly aligned with the drive of a hyper-achiever, narcissistic individuals might still seek external validation and prioritize their own image, further complicating interpersonal dynamics. A crucial hurdle for such individuals, Wayne emphasized, is developing genuine empathy.
Lisbet then broadened the scope by considering contextual factors that might contribute to controlling tendencies, such as inheriting a family business or being hired to achieve specific stakeholder outcomes under pressure. This led to a vital question: how can individuals exhibiting these behaviors enact meaningful change, not only for their own benefit but for the well-being of those around them? Lisbet underscored the interconnectedness of personal and professional lives, highlighting the ripple effect of such behaviors.
Wayne offered a crucial distinction between "pushing" through fear and "pulling" through encouragement and support. He then addressed the difficult reality of whether some individuals are beyond help, asserting that genuine transformation typically stems from an internal desire for change, often triggered by personal pain or discomfort. Without this intrinsic motivation, external interventions often prove ineffective.
As the conversation neared its conclusion, Lisbet turned the focus toward practical solutions, inquiring about Wayne's program. Wayne detailed a process that begins with a self-assessment available through his website (ESQmentalfitness.com) or direct contact. This assessment provides a deeper understanding of one's sabotaging tendencies beyond surface-level awareness. A complimentary follow-up session offers personalized insights into the results, potentially leading to enrollment in a seven-week intensive program. This program, supported by an app, incorporates educational content and daily practices aimed at managing saboteurs and cultivating one's "wise sage," or best self.
Lisbet enthusiastically expressed her intention to participate in this seven-week journey, humorously acknowledging that her sage-colored jacket was merely a starting point. She embraced the concept of identifying and harnessing her own "sage powers," aligning with Wayne's perspective that these positive attributes represent our true strengths.
In closing, Lisbet conveyed her sincere appreciation for a "fantastic and fun" discussion, clearly energized and ready to embark on her personal growth journey. The conversation offered valuable insights into the complexities of the high-achiever controller archetype and provided a hopeful outlook on the potential for positive change through self-awareness and targeted strategies.
